Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm too high and old for this...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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