So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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