so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
