question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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