I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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