he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
