office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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