Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
