Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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