and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
