I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Two words: blizzard sex
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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