I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize