yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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