Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
