I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
