AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm really busy with my period
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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