god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
