I think I died a long time ago.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
