Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
