Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
either way he was missing a nipple.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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