my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
