my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
How external is "for external use only"?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
