Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
