I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
