So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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