I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I need water and some morals
Randomize
