So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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