Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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