I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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