somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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