just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize