how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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