How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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