Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize