dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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