I cockslap morals
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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