It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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