pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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