I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
