yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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