Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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