you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
People with herpes should wear stickers.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
