So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
