I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
