No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
