so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
