pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
