he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
