How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
