Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
