Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
