The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
