I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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