You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
