Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
