I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
