I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
