have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize