If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
