is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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